MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Unicode has announced late additions to its 2021 new emoji roster, which includes the likes of Kawaii Tiger, KrazyMonKey of NY (a godzilla ripoff), and Jesus Crust. The Radish’s traveling team asked the head of Unicode to please elaborate on what Jesus Crust was. He stated, “Oh, the newest meme! It’s a picture of Jesus Christ, on a pizza, which is tattooed on a human Roomba!” We are still horrified to this day as to what a human Roomba is. This has been the most concerning article in a while. There have also been some removals, most notable of which is the “Japanese symbol for beginner” as it has been used for multiple Text2Speech issues across the network.

The sad thing is, the last one may actually happen.