WASHINGTON, DC – Late Friday afternoon, a new candidate had arrived on the radars of the media, as an independent. His name? Xx_PussySlayer_xX. President Trump had showed concern with the new candidate, as the independent’s numbers had risen tremendously within the states of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, and Vermont.

Known for absolutely nothing noteworthy, this candidate is the only one without any major scandals or anything on his record, including an actual name. He will be running for the “The Cost of Videogames is Too Damn High” party, a division of the famous “The Rent is Too Damn High” party from New York, only except this time it’s a bunch of Doritos addicts on beanbags instead of actual politicians.

People are confused as to whether to vote for him or not. This story will continuously be updated with new updates.