TAMPA, FL – The Super Bowl is set to kick off today, so The Radish, whose head writer doesn’t know shit about sports but yet still pretends to, is doing a live update thread. Football fans, enjoy the shitshow. Watch it here.
All times listed in PT, as that’s where I’m writing from.
THIS IS THE END OF THE THREAD.
7:12 PM | alr its over tampa won GOODBYE ALL SEE YOU ON THE INTERNET
7:05 PM | oh cool its almost over finally
6:33 PM | what is happening this is so boring
6:26 PM | 🦀 kc is gone 🦀
6:24 PM | mariokart
6:18 PM | the third fraction is here
6:12 PM | something is happening. i do not know.
6:07 PM | THEY HAVE THE CYBERTRUCK AND THE FOUR SEASONS LANDSCAPING IM DYING
6:05 PM | hi tracy
6:01 PM | damn this just got dark
5:58 PM | someone got another point
5:57 PM | pepsi
5:52 PM | they did a wayne’s world parody pog
5:51 PM | i was playing games what up
5:46 PM | the third fraction has started
5:42 PM | craig robinson again
5:41 PM | to the place i belong
5:38 PM | lens flare crazy
5:36 PM | i dont feel it coming
5:33 PM | something you dont hear everyday: Tampa is the most important city in america right now
5:26 PM | im back
5:24 PM | imma get a snack
5:22 PM | ALRIGHT I HAVE TO REPORT THIS. I thought that thing from SNL about the slime was a joke. Oh god. Oh no.
5:16 PM | two fractions have passed, time for ads
5:15 PM | kc is fucked i think
5:14 PM | another egg has gone through a metal thing
5:14 PM | what does a penalty do
5:12 PM | someone got a point
5:12 PM | B R U H
5:11 PM | bruh
5:10 PM | please no more time outs i want to watch the ads
5:09 PM | man apparently was pushed
5:09 PM | man trips on air
5:08 PM | help who are these people
5:06 PM | social distance please
5:05 PM | nvm i cant read
5:04 PM | two fractions have ended
5:02 PM | stop insulting my soap
5:02 PM | a ball has gone through a metal thing
5:00 PM | a man has been strangled
5:00 PM | a man has run out of bounds. i wonder what they are saying.
4:59 PM | country roads take me home. also toyota has a shit motto.
4:58 PM | man and his dog fight over a sweatshirt great
4:57 PM | hey where did everyone go. oh hey its the turbotax guy
4:56 PM | the talk people are laughing.
4:55 PM | He is dead.
4:54 PM | Another man is running out of the field.
4:53 PM | A man is running. Oh, he might have died.
4:50 PM | Alright. I promise. Updates every 5 min.
4:20 PM | Apologies for the wait! From now until the end, it will be every five minute updates.
1:30 PM | Waiting for the Dogecoin ad later today. $DOGE TO THE FUCKING MOON 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀!