CHARLESTON, SC – Charleston General Hospital has reportedly taken in a billionaire that lives in fucking Charleston, Conner Herwell. He was reportedly in the middle of pissing out of the window while, at the same time, shredding papers and eventually his arm. Once more, accidentally. One of his neighbors has also sued for the presence of piss on his lawn and is not planning to back down any time soo
His neighbors then, hearing the scream, naruto-ran into the door and broke it into 1,335 pieces, gaining 100 XP and 47 coins. The 69 year old man’s son doesn’t really care that his father literally shredded his arm since he was elsewhere, probably in a weed dispensary, having the time of his life. They subsequently called the hospital and the ambulance came almost immediately.
UPDATE: On a semi-related note, IRS auditors have put Mr. Herwell under house arrest for tax evasion. He is reportedly now on an armchair simping for Pokimane. If you don’t want to be a simp like him, read The Radish’s guides on how to NOT be a simp here.