ATLANTA, GA – Following the mass shooting in Atlanta and the police who can’t figure out even one fucking way to avoid disaster, while having thousands, 33-year-old career racist Randy Burke decided to test his theory that he can get away with any crime just by claiming he had a bad day. Mr. Burke reportedly entered the Donau­dampfschiffahrts­elektrizitäten­hauptbetriebswerk­bauunterbeamten­gesellschaft (german for OH FUCK HE’S COMING RUNRUNRUNRUN ADSHFASDFASFSAHAHAHAH) grocery store in Northern Atlanta, shot a man, and left.

Atlanta Police quickly arrived on the scene, got a coffee from the neighboring McDonalds, bought three sausages, participated in the local chess tournament, and then subsequently left.

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