RALEIGH, NC – John Graveneert, a staunch emo kid and antisocial ambassador, has reportedly stated that he was “willing to exit his house” as long as “his neighbors weren’t blasting music into his wall for 25 hours a day”. He also stated that “he had a gun” and was “willing to shoot unless we left”. Nevertheless, we didn’t leave. Another correspondent bites the dust. “It’s just so annoying. I can’t stand hearing Steve and his fucking drums one more damn day.”
Afterwards, he also said that he “was antisocial” and “was not afraid of what society has to hold” and “wasn’t a wimp”. The truth of these statements is unknown.
Update: Mr. Graveneet has exited the house for three seconds. We are awaiting to see what he does next.
Update 2: He has noticed the absolute travesty that is his front lawn, and is now getting a lawnmower.
Update 3: He has finished mowing the lawn. It seems like he is now putting the lawnmower back.
Update 4: He has reentered his home. Truly mesmerizing stuff.