All of the Radish, on this page
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A recent study by Stanford shows that assaulting Asian-Americans walking around doesn’t cure you of Coronavirus. This breaking announcement was met by violent backlash on Twitter, where all the racist motherfuckers go after their anti-mask parades. That backlash was also met with violent backlash from @TheBunkerGang, an account made up of […]
MIAMI, FL – Florida’s COVID stats have been fluctuating for the past few weeks at a too close to call situation, between total lockdown and partial reopening. The Supreme Court has been called in to decide who wins the 2021 “Should we wear masks?” Election. Governor Ron DeSantis has been blamed for sending advisors to […]
Authorities have not yet released any information about a possible motive behind Monday’s shooting at a grocery store in Boulder, Colorado, that left 10 people dead. The 21-year-old suspect has been charged with 10 counts of first-degree murder. The victims he is accused of killing were between the ages of 20 and 65. Among them was a […]
RALEIGH, NC – John Graveneert, a staunch emo kid and antisocial ambassador, has reportedly stated that he was “willing to exit his house” as long as “his neighbors weren’t blasting music into his wall for 25 hours a day”. He also stated that “he had a gun” and was “willing to shoot unless we left”. […]
FORT COLLINS, CO – Another day, another Wyoming incident. Let’s look into it. A child reportedly naruto ran into a goddamn firetruck in Wyoming after a “therapist session gone wrong”. First off, how do we know that Wyoming has therapists? How do we know that the Fort Collins Medical Group didn’t make up the state […]
ATLANTA, GA – Following the mass shooting in Atlanta and the police who can’t figure out even one fucking way to avoid disaster, while having thousands, 33-year-old career racist Randy Burke decided to test his theory that he can get away with any crime just by claiming he had a bad day. Mr. Burke reportedly […]
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – Fort Lauderdale Fire Department reported Sunday that the recent fire near city center has been suppressed. They stated that the fire was likely caused by its current tenant, a book enthusiast by the name Mr. Jacob Pilbury, inviting his also drunk friends over at two in the morning for a reenactment […]
Editor’s note: this article was written with a lot of anger in mind; welp. On social media, on cable networks and even in the halls of Congress, supporters of Donald J. Trump tried to rewrite history in real time, pushing the fiction that left-wing agitators were to blame for the violence on January 6th. Rioters […]
Now, I churn out about one article a day. But I usually stack them on top of each other, working on multiple at a time. When I want to write an article I first think about what I want to write about: Is there a new agent in Valorant? Did some major news happen today? […]
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.
Support The Radish
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.