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City of San Francisco changes Lincoln High School to “[Insert homeless man here] High School”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – San Francisco’s city council approved the changing of numerous controversial high school names across the city. Names like “Lincoln”, “Washington”, “Roosevelt”, and numerous important American historical figures. Lincoln High has opened up a public poll for people, and has received numerous submissions like “Dogshit High” and “Emperor Norton High” This poll […]

About 65 million vaccine doses administered in US:

Editor’s Note: Data published by the CDC may be delayed, and doses may not have been given on the day reported. More than 65 million doses of Covid-19 vaccine have been administered in the United States, according to data published Tuesday by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC reported that 65,032,083 […]

Michigan man in outrage at how Texans call -3°F cold

SAULT STE. MARIE, MI – After passing through Sault Ste Marie Airport one day, a Radish Correspondent stumbled across a man screaming in front of his store to the press about how wimpy the Texans are for complaining over sub-zero temperatures. He popped out another microphone and stacked it on top, much like the gif […]

Man loses arm due to shredder accident

CHARLESTON, SC – Charleston General Hospital has reportedly taken in a billionaire that lives in fucking Charleston, Conner Herwell. He was reportedly in the middle of pissing out of the window while, at the same time, shredding papers and eventually his arm. Once more, accidentally. One of his neighbors has also sued for the presence […]

Florida Woman dresses as “granny” to get second dose of vaccine:

Editor’s note: Yes, this is a real story Two women were caught trying to get second doses of the Covid-19 vaccine by dressing up as “grannies,” the Director of the Florida Department of Health in Orange County said Thursday. The women came to the vaccination site wearing bonnets, gloves, and glasses in an attempt to receive […]

How not to be a simp: Part 2

Because you guys liked the first part so much This is Sam. Sam likes to spam “Pokimane POG ” in her Twitch chat. He goes onto twitter after the stream and publishes post after post about how perfect she is, and when people call him out, he viciously defends himself, calling everyone a hypocrite. Don’t […]

Lawyer morphs into a fucking cat on Zoom meeting

MARFA, TX – A Texas lawyer “aCcIdeNtaLlY” turned on a cat filter during a Zoom meeting with a west Texas judge. He struggled to “turn off” the filter for 30 very awkward seconds, but The Radish suspects otherwise. How do we know that he, for example, isn’t a weeb? How can we prove this? First […]

Moderna CEO says the world will have to deal with Covid “forever”

The CEO of Covid-19 vaccine maker Moderna warned earlier that the coronavirus that has brought world economies to a standstill and overwhelmed hospitals will be around “forever.” Public health officials and infectious disease experts have said there is a high likelihood that Covid-19 will become an endemic disease, meaning it will become present in communities […]

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