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For fuck’s sake, is there inflation or not?

WASHINGTON – The Federal Reserve has stated that there isn’t inflation (source), and that’s great and all, but they also said that there is inflation. So that begs the question: For fuck’s sake, is there inflation or not? Spoiler: we do not know either. Inflation. What is inflation? Is this inflation? What about this? Inflation, […]

Grillers in arms after ‘slanderous’ Business Insider article appears

Business Insider recently published a wildly controversial article titled “Admit it. Grilling is bad,” enraging grillers, overweight middle aged parents, and centrists nationwide with their slanderous opinions on the most American sport out of all. “This is absolute madness. We can’t let some snobby city-folk infringe on OUR American values!” an executive at the National […]

The Radish is back. Sorta.

So hey. It’s been two months, and my “break” has ended. Finally have good ideas for once. And also saw a poor sap donate on patreon (which you can do here). New articles every week starting this week. Danke!

BREAKING: Attacking Asians-Americans doesn’t cure you of coronavirus

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A recent study by Stanford shows that assaulting Asian-Americans walking around doesn’t cure you of Coronavirus. This breaking announcement was met by violent backlash on Twitter, where all the racist motherfuckers go after their anti-mask parades. That backlash was also met with violent backlash from @TheBunkerGang, an account made up of […]

Motive of Boulder Mass Shooting still unclear

Authorities have not yet released any information about a possible motive behind Monday’s shooting at a grocery store in Boulder, Colorado, that left 10 people dead. The 21-year-old suspect has been charged with 10 counts of first-degree murder. The victims he is accused of killing were between the ages of 20 and 65. Among them was a […]

Antisocial man “willing to go outside”, according to sources

RALEIGH, NC – John Graveneert, a staunch emo kid and antisocial ambassador, has reportedly stated that he was “willing to exit his house” as long as “his neighbors weren’t blasting music into his wall for 25 hours a day”. He also stated that “he had a gun” and was “willing to shoot unless we left”. […]

Child naruto runs into fire truck in Wyoming

FORT COLLINS, CO – Another day, another Wyoming incident. Let’s look into it. A child reportedly naruto ran into a goddamn firetruck in Wyoming after a “therapist session gone wrong”. First off, how do we know that Wyoming has therapists? How do we know that the Fort Collins Medical Group didn’t make up the state […]

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